Saturday, December 19, 2009

A Complete Beautiful Mess

If people are around me on any given day they can be sure that they will hear me say a "hot mess" at least 10 times. I use it to describe any type of drama, any bad attitude (including mine), troubles, mistakes that are made, and just really anything in general. I have given this term to my coworkers as well. They use it just as lovingly as I do. As I was working out at the gym the other day, I heard a song on the radio with the chorus something to the effect of, "you're a hot mess and I'm falling for you." I would like to think that I gave this band that term also.

I, however, am 100% a hot mess. Just when I think I have gotten something right, I go back 5 steps. I really think that I could have been blonde. I am a total klutz. I can't sing, I can't cook (well actually I can I just don't), I can't budget money well. I run out of gas and end up on the side of the road at least 5 times a year. If I laugh REALLY REALLY hard, I may be prone to snorting. I am very likely to get upset at people right away if I feel they are insulting me. I should just let things ride. I forget to write thank you notes even though I am very very thankful. It takes me tons of times to pass a standardized test. My neck gets very red and splotchy if I am really embarrassed or upset. My most embarrasing date moment is when I upchucked all over my date at the fair ON the ride. Twice. (we still kept dating. what a guy!) One year for a Christmas party, I wore a hair piece in my hair and it fell out on the floor in front of everyone. I knocked the right side mirror off my car and my grandma 's car in less than a month. I think the picture has been made. I am a HOT MESS.

However, one of my favorite verses says that, "I will praise thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvellous are thy works and that my soul knoweth well." This is a very hard verse to comprehend when I myself know my shortcomings and failures. (as mentioned above and the worst ones have not been mentioned.) On the other hand, in light of this verse, it is very easy for me to laugh at all the crazy stupid things I do. I didn't make me, Jesus did. He knew about all the crazy things that would happen to me. He knew my struggles, failures, and my successes. In His eyes, I am beautiful and He values me. That is an awesome thing. So no matter the extent of my crazy ways, I choose to think that I am a complete beautiful mess. Beautiful in His eyes and still a mess through mine. (But I do have a lot of fun!)

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