Sunday, February 21, 2010

The Wrong Boy, The Wrong Situation

We all think we are perfect. Well, not perfect but to some extent always right. I, however, do try to combat against this feeling. If I am wrong I want to know. At least in the right manner. If you come to me with a better than thou attitude than most assuredly my feathers will get ruffled. On the flip side, if you come to me with the attitude of truly trying to help me than I am all ears. Maybe most people are like that. I can't be sure.

Of course, I have a story. The parties that are involved most likely don't read my blog so I am glad to relay the story to those who do. I am writing this simply for the fact that I found out that I was "blogged" about today. That didn't make me feel too great. Fortunately, I have a different outlook on life than I did 10 years ago. Or even 5 years ago. My first instinct would have been to pitch a fit and "let that person have it." The "new" me is much calmer. I, for the most part, try to think of things rationally. (even though I did "unfollow" him on Twitter.) There is a reason for every situation and I need to remember that. Also, I think that I know this person well enough that he wasn't trying to be mean or spiteful. Even though the blog had some pretty harsh blows. But he is my bff at work. This is what made me more upset.

There was a situation at work. My feelings (women and their feelings!!) got hurt and he was mad. He felt that I smarted off to him (I was just direct) and he came and snatched something from me. This took me by surprise. I had never seen this side of him before and I could tell he was upset. But he was making a point. And that, I must say, was totally HOTT! So we had a discussion about it and I thought it was over. Then BAMM!!! Here comes the blog. Needless to say, we had another discussion! It was almost as if I couldn't get him to see why I had been upset. He even thought I made a status update about him on FB. Maybe I don't let my anger show enough. I think that is a good and a bad thing. The "old"me got mad at the drop of a hat and spouted off the first thing that came to my mind. The "new " me lets it build up inside of me till I spew ugliness. That is not cool. I want to fight fair. Actually, I don't want to fight at all. But there has to be a medium to which I can convey my feelings in a healthy way.

So that's it...I won't be reading his blogs for a while. Even though, I think he understands where I am coming from now. And I from him. He vents through blogs, and I vent to people. Friendships are great because they make you see how much you have to learn. And how much you have to write about.

A Friend Can Tell You Things You Don't Want to Tell Yourself- Frances Ward Weller

Tuesday, February 2, 2010


B.F.F. The term that was made popular by The Hills and L.C. is kinda funny to say. Now it's just a habit. I have been fortunate to have a few B.F.F.'s. I have also been unfortunate to lose some. Not necessarily by means of a falling out but just because some people grow apart. It's really quite sad. Almost as bad as a breakup. I will pass on both.

When I was in 4th grade, I had my first B.F.F. B. J. Meyers. She was in my class and she lived down the road from me. I spent the night with her and we hung out all the time. We talked about our crushes, our teachers, and rode our bikes like crazy. We rode every trail that could be found. Then her dad had to move because of his job. It was pretty devastating. I got her address but we never really kept in touch. I still have some of our letters that we used to pass to each other in class.

Soon after that, I found another best friend. Now we were close. But my dad dated her mom so we kinda had to be.

In middle school and high school, I had several "best friends." I was fortunate to have good friends at school and in church. One of my best friends was a guy. He would do anything in the world for me. Yes, we liked each other for several years, but to this day I would consider him to be one of the very best friends that I have ever had. And I hope that he would say the same about me. I loved his family and he loved mine. My girlfriends were great too. In high school, I had the best time. We had a close knit group of friends and there were always good times. There were some bad times, too. Boyfriends being "stolen", dirty looks being given, breakups, drama, and anything in the life of a teenager that might could be possible.

In my adult life, I have several best friends as well. A lot of these friends are ones that I was friends with from younger days. I have added a few along the way! :) However, it is so sad to me that when you spend some of the best times with people and love them with all of your heart that they let someone or something come in between those relationships. Some women feel that it is imperative that they need a man, boyfriend, and husband to complete their world. They would just about sell their soul to have a mate. This I do not have patience for. It is also a tragedy when they let a mate's ideas, motives, and actions change who they are as a person. I believe that a boyfriend or husband should not dominate how the woman feels. I see it everyday at work. Women cannot make simple decisions about phones unless they consult with their husband. They simply cannot make a decision on their own. They want to know what their husband thinks about the phone or if he will "let" them get another one. Now, I may be a little too independent but noone is going to "let" me get a phone. Give me a break. Anyway, back to the subject. I just wish that women could see how much they let a man change who they are as a person and realize that some day that man may not be there. Girlfriends will always be there to pick up the pieces. I just hope the woman hasn't pushed her gf's so far away that they still have some left.